SM - Birth Stories

A homebirth with a Midwife.
By: Mom

      This pregnancy took the longest to sink in, even longer than my first one 3 months out of high school. I didn't go to a doctor right away, we were uninsured, and I knew they'd just confirm the pregnancy and tell me to come back at 12wks. In the meantime, I debated where to have this baby. At 12wks I thought I'd get checked out, I really wanted to hear the heartbeat. I scheduled an appointment at my Ob/Gyn practice with a CNM who used to work at a birth center and attended homebirths. I had to explain my way through the receptionists and the nurse, and fight off a pregnancy test, knowing that once I got to the midwife she'd understand. I told her I was considering a homebirth but I really wanted to hear the heartbeat and estimate a due date. . The CNM didn't make me take a pregnancy test; the heartbeat coming out of my belly was confirmation enough. She gave me the names and numbers of some homebirth midwives, and she offered to do any tests for me if I wanted them done.

      I can tell labor is getting closer, my mind is unfocused, I have no desire to think about anything else.

      On December 2, we took the girls to a holiday train exhibit. I decided to just concede to eternal pregnancy. I wasn't feeling anything that felt like labor. That night we put the girls to bed and watched Clerks 2, and went to sleep at about 2am.

      A few hours later I noticed I wasn't really sleeping. I wasn't really awake either, but I was aware of some mild contractions. Around 4am my 2yr old woke up and I had to calm her back down. The contractions stopped and I was irritated with her for disrupting them. I remembered a day during my pregnancy with her when I thought labor would begin that day; I couldn't sleep so Kylie and I took an early morning walk to get a bagel. I had contractions the whole walk, but labor actually began the next night. I figured this day would be the same, once everyone woke up contractions would stop, but I'd go into labor that night. I planned to rest and eat and drink all day so I'd be ready for the marathon.

      By 6am the contractions came back, and I wasn't sleeping through them any more. I looked at the clock. 6:15, 6:25, 6:35, 6:43, 6:50...I was on hands and knees in the bed, and breathing harder. I was very tired, so when I saw the contractions getting closer together, I decided to take a lavender bath to slow them down. I stayed in the bath for a couple contractions, and found myself filing my feet during them. The bath wasn't slowing them down at all, and I had to get out. I wanted to walk during them, but it felt better to walk very fast, lifting my knees high. I paced quickly around my tiny house. Even though it was December 3, it wasn't too cold out, so I thought about taking a walk outside so I'd have more room to move. I decided against it because there were hills and I didn't want to wear myself out. They were about 5 min apart at this point, so I thought I'd get Jeff up, just in case. I woke him up just before 7:30am. I told him it was probably too soon, but I thought maybe we should set up the tub anyway, just in case. He got up and made some coffee, and we started to clear out the dining room. I had to stop frequently to start pacing frantically. Jeff thought we should start calling people.

      The plan was, our mothers would entertain the girls outside the house during labor, then when the birth was close, they'd come back so everyone could be present for that. It was around 8am; the girls were watching TV. I was still randomly cleaning and moving things in between contractions. Jeff thought I should call the midwife. I hated to get everyone excited so soon, but I also felt the labor was getting stronger, so I called midwife #1. When I picked up the phone I swear I was clear-headed, but when she answered I couldn't put a sentence together. I tried to explain that labor just started, but it was going kind of fast, so I wanted to give her a heads up. She said she'd be right over, and that maybe I should have Jeff call my mom, instead of me. The tub was inflated, now it just had to be filled. Jeff called my mom a little after 8:30. I tried to curl up on the couch while the girls watched TV in between giggling at me.

      Jeff's mom came, but the girls were fine so she helped with the tub. I was rocking on my birth ball and would grab Jeff every time a contraction hit. His mom told me later she could tell by my sounds that I was moving faster than I realized. I guess that's why they seemed to be moving so frantically, but I was barely aware or concerned with their presence.

      After 9am, the midwives were both there, and I felt so tired. I wanted to sit or lay down but the pressure in my bottom was too much, it hurt to sit. I didn't know how to rest so I'd hang on Jeff or the midwife. There was no break in between contractions and I was getting upset. The girls were no longer in the room, and midwife #2 had someone turn off the TV for which I was grateful. I was desperately trying to get comfortable, but I couldn't. Midwife 2 told me the tub would not be ready in time and I needed to think of where else I wanted to have my baby. She was telling me I needed to get ready to push. I thought she was crazy. It wasn't time to push, no baby was coming, my body was just being ripped in half. I was screaming that it was too much, I didn't want to push, I wanted someone to help me, I couldn't do it. Contractions were longer and stronger and on top of each other. I had no power over it, and that scared me. The midwives asked me if I was ready to meet my baby. Of course I was, but that's not what was going on here. In between contractions I felt like my body would shut down, it wasn't sleep, exactly, just everything stopped and I sort of hung there. At this point I was on my knees leaning over my couch, not one of the pushing positions I knew so well. I felt a lot of pressure and was just sure I was going to have a bowel movement. With all I know about labor and transition, and what it feels like when the baby is coming down the birth canal, I still didn't think it was time to push. I'd only been at this for a couple of hours. The pressure was so intense and I wanted it to stop but no amount of my yelling was stopping it. I was involuntarily pushing and my water broke. I heard something about "when mom's are having a hard time pushing," and someone was offering me some little white tablets. I at least recognized that it was something homeopathic, so I opened my mouth. Within seconds I decided I needed to get it together and get on top of this. I could feel the baby past my rectum now, so I knew where to push. I focused on a speck on the wall and shut out everything but the baby. I stopped screaming for help and grunted and growled instead. I pushed into the contraction, trying to be strong but gentle, too. I felt the head crown, and heard my mom walk in the door. I pushed again and felt a huge relief of pressure and stinging, but still I said, "Is it over?" My husband assured me it was, I was resting my head on the couch, part of me knew that meant there was a baby behind me, but I didn't move. I heard someone say something like "pass him up." Midwife 2 told me to pick up my baby, I turned around and reached for the little body, and there was a stream of pee coming from a little penis. That's when I knew I had a boy.

      This was the first time no one took my new baby from me, I just sat there holding him, and I was thinking "I don't know what to do with him" so I just kept holding him. It was about 9:40am when he was born. The girls were back in the room now, they had left after the water broke. Cassandra told me later she went to her tree house because I was "too loud." I had torn in a couple of places. This meant I had to stay in bed with my legs together for several days, but my family agreed to help me with this so I opted not to have the stitches.

      Once everything was quiet and we were alone, Jeff and I settled on naming him Tiernan. It was a few days before we settled on a middle name, Jeffery. He was 8lbs 4oz. We cut his cord 19hrs after he was born. Even though it was frustrating at times, I enjoyed my time in bed with my baby over the next 10 days. I was grateful for a good reason to stay put and enjoy my babymoon. His sisters were smitten. We had a steady stream of visitors over the next week, which was fine, people brought me food and coffee. Tiernan and I didn't leave the house until he was 11 days old.

      I loved staring at my little baby, I thanked him for coming and told him every day how excited I was to see him, and I was so glad he was here. I still tell him that.